An Unhappy Nation
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NEW YORK—An American hack who used to write okay stuff until his left-wing employer signaled to him that activism is more important than journalism recently revealed that Americans are unhappier now than they’ve ever been before. Especially in places that voted for the Donald. According to the hack, Trump got the most votes in places where people felt the unhappiest. But that makes sense, doesn’t it? Don’t people vote against the status quo when misery levels are rising? Mind you, it could also be that those who ask the questions (the hack did not specify who posed them) have a vested interest in the answers they get. Invent a misery level where voters are for Trump, then pour it on and predict strikes, crime, and anti-government demonstrations.


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